You know you're from Kansas City when...


...you know that Kansas City is actually two cities in two states, Kansas and Missouri, and you make sure people know which one you're from.

... if you live on the Kansas side, you think Missouri drivers are pokey and frustrating. If you live on the Missouri side, you think Kansas drivers are crazy and erratic.

... you know just how fierce the KU vs MU rivalry is; and that you'd best pick a side and stay loyal.

... your airport is known as KCI (Kansas City International Airport) yet, the airport code is MCI.

... you tell visitors that your city is the "City of Fountains" and they look at you blankly because no one outside of the city has EVER heard it called that, even though we do have over 200 fountains sprinkled throughout the city.

... you've given the following answers: "Yes, we have tornados." "No, I don't know Dorothy." "No, I've never met the Wizard and I've never been to Oz."

... you whined through the 90's about Marty ball and now wish he was back so the chiefs could just make the playoffs.

... you Christmas shop at the Plaza and ice skate at Crown Center in the winter.

... you know better than to try and drive through "the triangle" at rush hour.

...you've been told that you're going to hell or asked to help a guy put a "down payment on a cheesburger" when walking through the plaza.

... you know to get off the interstate if you're headed into downtown and the traffic report says there's an accident at the Benton curve.

... you know Leawood sucks.

... you've jammed with the Hari Krishnas in front of Barnes and Noble.

...you know what color gunther cunninghams awful glasses are.

... you've had a skyscraper at Windsteads.

... you remember how awesome Ward Parkway used to be, and now complain that you have to go to Town Center

... you've said "but we were in Missouri, so the cops just let us go"

... you very rarely actually go downtown, unless you're going to a convention at Bartle Hall, a concert at Kemper, or a play at one of the downtown theatres.

... you've barhopped in Westport.

... you brag about having the only WWI memorial in the nation, but neglect to tell people it looks like a cock and balls.

... you've ridiculed the giant shuttlecock sculptures on the lawn of the Nelson Atkins Museum of Art to your local friends, but defended them to out-of-towners.

... you have ever defended dick vermeil for being such a cry baby.

... you've bragged to others how close you live to the Meth capital of the world, but thank God its still far away enough to not make you feel white trash.

... you think Johnson County folks are a bit pretentious (even if you are one).

...you've had Brian Busby come to your school to talk about Weather.

... you've had a Gates BBQ employee scream at you, "May I help you?"

... you've gotten in a fight in gradeschool over the MU/KU allegiance.

... you call cure and/or Nativity "our lady of the lexus".

... you know who Tech N9ne is, and freak out during "We reppin KCMO, the fellas and the ladies know"

... you know who Belly Boy is.

... you've endured the Monkey Lady.

... the term "the Dot" itself has made you laugh.

... you know where the Appleby's house is.

... and George Brett's house.

... you brag you're from the Missouri side.

... you keep the fact that you're from KCK a secret.

... you're driving directions always involve Ward Parkway or State Line.

... Wyandotte County confuses the hell out of you.

... you're mad because Nebraska Furniture Mart used to delivery to Kansas City for free, all the way from Omaha, but now that they have a big new NFM store right here in KC, you have to pay for delivery.

... you think that every year is the year the chiefs will win it all.

... you've spent many a day riding rides and eating park food at Worlds of Fun.

... you've watched the American Royal parade and rodeo and sampled BBQ at the annual cookoff.

...you'll only buy a drink at a baseball game if it is advertised by a man yelling "LEEMONADE LEEMONADE LEEMONADE"

...you know the royals suck, but you refuse to let any Cardinals fan forget about the 1985 world series.

... you know that KC has a jazz district down at 18th and Vine, even if you've never been there.

... you can't find a steak worthy of your pallette outside of KC.

... you know that if you don't get to Suicide Hill by 8 AM, you're gonna get nothing but dirt.

... you know the name Buck O'Neil needs to be in the Baseball Hall of Fame....NOW.

... you know that Union Station wasn't always so lame.

... you have had some of the best bbq in your life... at a gas station.

... one of your guilty pleasures is Go Chicken Go, despite how disgusting it really is.

... you've eaten a meal that was delivered to you by a model train.

.. regardless if you're from the suburban wannabe KC area, you still tell people from out of town you're from KC; and that's because it sounds so much worse to say you're from Shawnee Mission, Leawood, Overland Park, Liberty, Harrisonville, Belton, Blue Springs, Lee's Summit, Mission Hills, Olathe, Odessa, Longview, Grandview, Raytown, Merriam, Riverside, Kearney, De Soto, Fairway, Gladstone, Excelsior, Leavenworth, Ottawa, Prairie Village, Raymore, Bonner Springs (hahahahaha), Parkville, Tonganoxie, Unity Village, Westwood, Peculiar, or Riverside. I mean come on, how lame is that?

... you and your friends have been talking about stealing a 69 South sign for years.

... you are wary of Flush Creek.

... you still call it Sandstone.

... you've played football on the median of Ward Parkway.

... you can tell a "Lin Elliot" joke.

... you think Windsteads craps all over Steak and Shake in Quality and Taste.

... ...you think St. Louis sucks, and HAVE POSTED ALL THE REASONS WHY.

... you've celebrated the turning on of christmas lights with about 100,000 other drunk people... every year.

... you take the back way to Kauffman/Arrowhead by passing by LC's Barbeque.

... you've drank at Loose Park at night.

... you know how to make (and have consumed) a Caribou Lou.

... you went to Knights of Columbus dances.

... you know that fireworks sustain Riverside.

... on nights when you feel like being classy, you drink Boulevard Wheat with a lemon.

... it can take you up to 45 minutes to get to a friends house, without traffic.

... you remember Bob "The Hammer" Hamlin.

... one word: Comets.

... you know who the "Nigerian Nightmare" is.

... you know Manny.

... you set off enough fireworks to blow up China every year on the fourth of July, even though all the news stations remind you "they're cracking down this year."

... you went to Waldo Pizza/Imo's/Uno's before a dance.

... you know the following numbers: 648-8888 and 321-2277 (and can sing the accompanying songs).

... you spent a full day learning how life works at Exchange City.

... you remember running through the crown center fountains as a kid.

... you've stood in line for hours to buy a dual pass for The Edge of Hell and The Beast and complained about how bad the Beast sucked afterwards

... you've been to Kaleidoscope (and still want to go back).